My story

“I just need to stop working as soon as possible.”

These viscerally honest words tumbled out of my mouth during a conversation with my manager. I was in a state of acute distress, with little capacity to think clearly. My body was falling apart and in pain everyday. My mind had lost all ability to engage in executive function. I moved through each day like a zombie in survival mode.

For many months, I agonized over the decision to leave my job. I chose to ignore all these signs that I desperately needed a break from working because I felt a deep sense of responsibility to see a big project through and not let my team down. I chose to abandon myself.

Following the fateful conversation, it still took a few more days for me to come to terms with actually leaving a team I genuinely cared for. My mind kept looking for reasons to stay, until a few dear friends gently reminded me in no uncertain terms, “Your health and wellbeing come first.”

In that moment, I finally gave myself permission to truly imagine what it would feel like to leave my job. The deep sense of relief in my body told me everything I needed to know.

After I said my goodbyes, I embarked on a year-long healing journey. I needed to understand what happened because I never wanted to feel that way again, and so healing became my full-time job. I dove into books and podcasts to learn everything I could about complex trauma, one of the root causes of my burnout. I tried just about every healing modality I could access. With the support of loved ones and several gifted practitioners, I slowly reconnected with me and learned to honor the wisdom of my body.

Along the way–after I felt safe and grounded enough to even consider working again–I sensed a call to guide others on their own healing journeys and pursued professional training in complex trauma. Because I know how terrible it can feel to suffer alone, and how much better it can be on the other side.